You Cannot Trust ANYONE

...who uses American Buttercream when baking. Here are my three go-to buttercream recipes of all time

american buttercream could never

I have needed to get this off my chest for a long time. Like the longest time known to mankind. I sit there and internally cringe every time I scroll past a recipe on social media which happily advocates American buttercream. I remind myself it’s not my business. Say nothing Rubes. This isn’t your place. Don’t shit all over someone’s parade – you are far better than that.

And you know what. I AM better than that, but this is a safe space now, right? Here in our little LB corner of the internet, I can say something as damning as American Buttercream is everything that is wrong with baking, and you will proceed to read why before you type and judge…rightttt??

But listen, even if you do judge, I will just judge you right back for judging me on something I initially judged and then we will be in some judgey no man’s land where neither party will cave but we both internally wish we never wasted our efforts to begin with. So, with that in mind, let me please save you (and me) and just say this is NOT UP FOR DEBATE.

I get it - it’s easy, it’s simple. 2 or 3 ingredients, minimal fuss required, sturdy as heck. I get it. I promise you, as someone who started off using ABC when I first delved into baking, I BLOODY GET IT. But please, I beg you to love yourself more than this. As someone whose whole personality is based on cake, please let me introduce you to some better options. Some options which are just as easy, with far less clean up (let’s be real, mixing icing sugar is a bitch) and tastes way better. If you are investing your time and money into baking and making something which people will hopefully gleefully eat, let it be worth it.

want to caveat these images by saying THESE WERE VERY EARLY IN MY BAKING JOURNEY OK. pls don't judge this abc ugliness

Let it be so wholly delicious, someone asks for seconds. Another asks for the recipe. A third asks you to make it again next time. The last begs you to pack some up for them in Tupperware you know you will never, ever see again (shout out to all my long-lost plastic tubs, I miss you x). Let it be for something that makes a memory, makes someone happy, makes their day.

I will wax lyrical about baking and all its yummy, tasty benefits. I will try and convert as many people over to the sugary, sweet side as much and as often as possible. But the one response which rings loudly in my ears, is the standard line of ‘oh it takes too long, and it never goes right’. I’ve always said the most important ingredient in baking is patience. Not exactly an earth-shattering, groundbreaking revelation but having some patience goes a long way.

ABC requires zero patience. It’s lazy baking. It’s quick, easy, doesn’t matter if it’s tasty or not, sorta baking. A spoonful of that stuff and I can literally taste the dentist appointment coming my way. Sickly sweet with a mildly unpleasant texture, it’s basic. It’s a basic bitch buttercream. There. I said it. And I feel SO MUCH BETTER FOR IT. If you couldn’t tell, I have been storing this rant up for a long time.

And it’s all for good reason. I just think you deserve better.

There are a tonne of better tasting buttercreams and frostings for you to bless your bakes with. There’ll be no more scraping the icing off the sponge to enjoy a slice of cake. There’ll be no more icing sugar explosions in the kitchen (why does this stuff go EVERYWHERE?!). And there’ll be no more basicness on our watch okay?

Rubes has got you. So here are my three all time favourite buttercreams which work with just about every cake…

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T H E - G O O D - S T U F F -

First up, let’s talk about my fave sorta way to frost, stack or ice a cake: whipped mascarpone cream. This was a revelation after I realised my cakes deserved to be treated way better. When I was on Bake Off, this was always my filling/frosting of choice whenever we had to make cakes (and smugly, was the buttercream base for my handshake for my showstopper in week 2)

Whipped cream is a delight but reinforcing it with mascarpone a) makes it more sturdy and b) makes it more tasty. If this buttercream can hold the strength of time, heat and scrutiny from an un-airconditioned tent in the middle of summer, have faith in knowing it will be good for you also.

Key here is to not overwhip that cream at the end and to know that it will firm up the more you smush it around and scoop it out the bowl. You’ll be constantly working it, slathering it around on a cake so don’t risk over mixing as it’ll become curdled and not have the smoothness you would want visually.

The method is as simple as ABC but good news: you won’t redecorate your kitchen with icing sugar explosions, it’s quicker to mix together and any leftovers you can make a cheat no bake cheesecake with.

mascarpone magic

Recipe makes: Enough to stack, crumb coat and decorate 3 x 7 inch cake or 2 x 9 inch cake.