What's Better Than Chocolate?

Chocolate 3 ways, duh. Your weekend baking is covered with my Triple Threat Chocolate Cake (both vegan and dairy - cake for all, yay!), plus a *bonus* Persian Love Cake recipe.

filth vs wholesome - who wins? you decide

Oh, my goodness me. YOU GUYS. I have been swimming - nay - DROWNING, arms flapping everywhere, head barely above the water, straggly bits of hair covering my eyes, spluttering, coughing in stress all damn week. And yet here I am, giving you the most recipes I think I have ever given so far?

You could call it generosity. Or you could call it procrasti-baking. I feel like we all know which camp I fall into here. The procrastinating got SO BAD, I even went to Disneyland Paris last week to get away from the cardboard box and bubble wrap hell I am currently residing in. Yes, a fairly luxury getaway I know but I’d never been before (as a child, india was our disney equivalent) and apparently that’s where dreams come true so I thought at the ripe young age of 34 (borderline +1), now was my time.

And you know what. I bloody loved it. Until the last day, a Sunday, where the vibe at the park got a little…feral. The air had a tinge of mania. Kids were swarming every ride. Parents looked flustered. The smell of desperation to pack in every minute of fun was overwhelming and I was just desperate to eat something that tasted of anything. So needless to say, after 3 days of forced fun, I was happy to come home *cue 4 hour delayed train*.

procrastination? denial? running from responsibility? or all of the above?

And cue stressed out Rubes. How have I accumulated so much stuff? I swear I don’t even shop much but apparently once upon a time I thought having 6 sieves, 3 pairs of the similar looking trainers and enough cups, plates and saucers to feed the 5000 was all a good idea.

I VOW to never move again because the internal anxiety has been alarmingly overwhelming. Should I have done more before? DUH. But hindsight is a great thing, time is a luxury and being pernickety at making sure everything is cleaned and packed just the way I like it is an awful control habit I can’t seem to shake.

That being said, we have some CRACKING recipes on the menu this week. How did I make these two bakes, record, edit, upload onto socials, plus write a mammoth newsletter, recipe cards and pack up a whole flat since this Monday? Who knows but you gotta love that working against a deadline, surge of unrivalled productivity, am I right?

---

Before we proceed with the good stuff, I gotta tell you about this little snacky snack I whipped up the other day. I am a HUGE snacker, grazer, nibbler, picker, part-time main meal consumer, full-time mini meal eater, whatever you wanna call it. So I’ll be out here grazing all day long, making odd concoctions of things that have been existing in my fridge for too many days and sometimes they bomb (add tobasco to make it immediately palatable) but sometimes they are the bomb.

This falls into the latter category and I implore you to give it a whirly whirl next time those snack fairies* come to find you. *I had initially called these demons but no, food is good, your hunger should be recognized and so fairies it is.

It’s hardly groundbreaking, nor is it original, inventive, or new. But with the aforementioned move (not sure I have spoken about this much?!), I have been grabbing and snacking on whatever is lurking in the cupboards to avoid any unnecessary food purchases that will spoil or go unloved as that ruthless, everything is going, mentally kicks in.

You wanna grab some salted pretzel sticks (the salty ones are verrrrrrry good for this, but plain will also work), melt some choccy (I had a bar of relatively posh choc which had orange zest in it – ooh la la) and dip the ¾ of the stick into the choc and leave to set on a silicon mat OR just messily eat straight away. Before they set, you can jazz these up even more – sprinkle some crushed biscuit on top, throw on a few chopped nuts (health is wealth after all kids) or perhaps scatter on a bit of freeze-dried fruit (see, always getting that 5 a day).

A speedy 5-minute snack to make, a speedy 5 second treat to gobble. I regrettably don’t have a picture of the final result because my greed knows no bounds. Sincere apols.

---

Oooof you are being SPOILT this week. We have 3 recipes on the menu for you. Yup, that’s right THREE RECIPES. Where I have managed to make all this in the last week amongst going to Disney and also drown in moving stress, I will have no idea but what I do know is - there is ALWAYS time for cake.

I have your weekend baking sorted, now you gotta choose what you wanna make (or make all 3 if you are as equally obsessed as me).

We have:

1. Persian Love Cake

2. Triple Threat Chocolate Cake, dairy version

3. Triple Threat Chocolate Cake, vegan version.

That’s right folks, a whole lotta deliciousness and a little bit for everyone. You want cake? They want cake? WE ALL GET CAKE. No one misses out on Rubes’ watch, so let’s get to it.

wanna be her when I grow up

If you haven’t caught the latest recipe over on my series ‘Around The World in 80 Cakes’, number 61 on the list of the 80 best rated cakes in world is a Persian Love Cake. It has an incredibly soft, gorgeously moist, fragrant and tender, spiced crumb (can we please give it up for cardamom aka the queen of spice?), drenched in a zingy and zesty rose water syrup, topped with water icing and finished with a scattering of pistachios and dried edible flowers.

And isn’t she a looker?? She smelt as good as she looks, fyi and I am so pleased to say this wasn’t a case of style over substance. I tend to throw over dried edible flowers at whatever I bake as it has this habit of making something mediocre look incredible, so was a teeny tiny bit skeptical about this one. And that is even before I get started on my dislike for Rose Water. That soapy floral taste just doesn’t do it for me but combined with a warming cardamommy hug and a refreshing hit from a zesty lemon? Woweee wow, being wrong has never tasted SO. DAMN. GOOD.

An easy cake to make – it’s all mixy mixy, drizzle drizzle, pour pour and then sprinkle city. See? Easy.

Persian Love Cake

76.6KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Recipe Makes: 1 x 22 cm Bundt Tin

W H A T – Y O U – N E E D -

• Sponge

200g Unsalted Butter / Baking Margarine (I opt for the latter)

50 ml Veg Oil (any neutral tasting oil will do)

170 g Caster Sugar

4 Medium Eggs

12 Cardamom Pods

150 g ‘00’ Flour (you can sub this for Plain or AP)

300 g Ground Almonds

1 ¼ tsp Baking Powder, sifted

Pinch of Salt

Zest & Juice of 1 Lemon

1 tbsp Rose Water

100 ml Buttermilk

• Drizzle

50 g Caster Sugar

40 ml Water

30 ml Lemon Juice, fresh

Zest of 1/2 Lemon

2 Cardamom Pods

1/2 tbsp Rose Water

• Icing

225 g Icing Sugar, sifted

Juice of 1 Lemon

1/2  tbsp Water

• To Finish

Handful of Dried Edible Rose/Flower Petals

Handful of Pistachios, deshelled and roughly chopped

M E T H O D –

1. Preheat your oven to 150°C/302°F and liberally grease and flour a 22 cm bundt tin making sure you hit all those nooks and crannies for a smooth and stress free cake release at the end. Alternatively you could use a regular tin but make sure you grease and line with baking paper, instead of flour.

2. Add the butter and sugar to a stand mixer bowl and cream together until light and fluffy using the paddle attachment, for at least for 5 minutes on a medium speed. I always opt for baking margarine where I can as the build up of these consist of added oil which lends itself well to the tenderness of the crumb.

3. Once you’ve worked some air into the mix, pour in the oil and mix until smooth. You’ll find some folk who only use butter or only use oil and why not just use both and get the perks of it all? A little addition will help your sponges stay beautifully moist, for longer.

4. Next in are the eggs – I would normally say to beat well between each addition but I plonked them all in together and still yielded a great result. Just really give it time to do its thing, emulsify (become one) with the rest of the mix so leave it to mix on a medium to high speed for about 5 minutes. Don’t worry if it looks curdled, it will sort its act out in the next step.

5. In a separate bowl mix together the flour, ground almonds, salt and baking powder. Do this in a separate bowl before going into the main one as you want to work the batter as little as you can, so making sure all these ingredients have met and become friends before going to the party just helps everything mingle with the butter base more evenly.

6. Next you want to split open the cardamom pods, remove the seeds and use a pestle and mortar to grind down to a fine dust. If you have a mini blender, use this but when I say fine dust, just as fine as you can go. These things are a slight pain in the ass to break down so do as much as your patience allows you to.

7. Add the mixed flour, ground cardamom seeds, lemon zest and rose water to the main bowl and give it a good mix until there are no visible streaks of flour. You can do this by hand using a rubber spatula or pop it back into the stand mixer and mix on a low to med speed.

8. When combined, pour in the buttermilk to finish and fold in well before to completely combine before transferring the batter to the floured tin. It won’t pour in (if it does…something may be a little wrong and you may want to add a spoon or two of more flour as you want a robust sponge if you are using a bundt tin!) so scoop the batter into the tin and use the back of a spoon to spread.

9. Pop it into the oven and bake for 50 to 52 minutes (depending on your oven, it may be more like 55 but you know that thing better than I do so adjust the timing accordingly).

10. In the meantime, make the drizzle by adding all ingredients to a saucepan (don’t worry about removing the seeds from the pod, just pierce each one with a knife and pop it in) and place over a gentle heat until slightly thickened, with a more syrupy consistency. This should take about 8 to 10 mins over a low to med heat. When done, leave to one side.

11. Once your cake is baked, allow it to sit for 5 minutes at room temp to relax slightly. You should see the sponge edges start to come away from the tin – a good sign that the sponge will come out in one piece!

12. Place a cooling rack upside down on top of the tin. Turn upside down and pray for a gently thud of sponge on the rack. If it doesn’t immediately release, I TOLD YOU TO BUTTER IT WELL DIDN’T I. But also just let gravity do its thing and leave it be.

13. Once it’s out in one piece (we hope, but fear not, check the Rubes Recommends for tips on what to do if it doesn’t), use a skewer to poke holes in the top, place a baking tray underneath your cooling rack and pour over the drizzle whilst it is still warm. Any caught syrup in your baking tray? Just re-pour that goodness back over it or use a pastry brush to brush over.

14. Carefully cover the cake with clingfilm (go for a loose tight as opposed to snug) and leave to completely cool.

15. Once the cake is cool to touch, mix together ingredients for icing. It may seem like too little liquid to sugar but you want a thick water icing glaze as opposed to a…well, watery one?

16. Transfer the cake to your serving plate before pouring the icing on top and finishing with a scattering of pistachio and edible petals.

17. Allow the icing to set before using a hot knife to slice and serve.

photogenic much??

Oh, you thought we were done? No, no, no, my friend. Unbuckle that belt a notch or two, jump into those stretchy sweats and get ready for the ultimate sweet feast. Next up we have one of my all time favourites: my Triple Threat Chocolate Cake which is also known as my Chocolate Mousse Cake - but that doesn’t sound as fun…or as lethal, does it?

By lethal I mean, this cake has me in a literal chokehold whenever I make it. From the moment you pull away at the baking paper to unveil a stacked masterpiece, to slicing a generous chunk (I operate under a strict 2:1 ratio. If it’s good for 1 person, Rubes needs 2 times the amount) to finally forking your way through each sumptuous layer. OH EM GEE. I love it. I just bloody love it.

pov: you after eating the triple threat choccy cake

If our friend Bruce (yes, I will find a way to use his picture in every single newsletter drop) was our age, this would be his new cake obsession. Which would then make me Cookie, and you…the Trunchball? Idk, I don’t make the rules, I’m just a vessel typing away my inner monologue. WHICH FYI, I have learnt not everyone has this? Some people just have silence going on in there. SILENCE *gulp*. My overactive, unsettled brain could never.

I digress. This cake first started off entirely Vegan and I was amazed at the power of plants to be able to make something so deliciously naughty, without any compromise. If I am being entirely honest, I think this version could be my fave out the two? A great recipe for all - it’s egg free, dairy free, gelatine free but not fun free. So caters to most (just do some gluten free flour mixeroo, for the ultimate allergen friendly bake) but I have also whipped up a dairy version so everyone can have it Baked Both Ways.

tiers of joy

It’s made up of 3 layers, *cue drooling*:

1. Chocolate Fudge Sponge (more fudge than sponge, just the way it should be)

2. Chocolate Mousse (sorcery levels of lightness)

3. Chocolate Ganache (no way of glowing this up, it is what it is)

The sponge is baked in 20 (a great recipe to use if you are also after a stacking sponge as it’s sturdy but moist), the mousse is made in 10 and the ganache is finished in 5. All in all, you need to do about 30 minutes work MAX. Easy peasy, choccy squeazy.

I’ve got you covered with tips and tricks to make sure you nail any of the bakes you choose to make out of the 3 (just make ‘em all, why the hell not), so make sure you check out the Rubes Recommends section before you get started, so the only thing cracking are the eggs and not you.

Let’s get into it, starting with my Triple Threat Choccy Cake (dairy version).

Recipe Makes: 8 x 12 inch / 20 by 30 cm Tin

Y O U - W I L L - N E E D -