Tis The Season To Be Baking
I’ve got your weekend plans sorted with my warming and indulgent Spiced Apple Crumble Rolls, a delicious Czechian Fruit Cake and my impressive (if I say so myself) Decorative Shortbread.
If I hear any slander about beige food one more time, I am going to lose it. Who said beige was boring? I LOVE beige food. It’s comforting. It’s warming. It’s inviting. It’s familiar. You know when there isn’t a slither, slice or sight of green on the plate, you and your belly are in for a cosy, good time. I was hosting a food festival over the weekend and this topic came up a number of times, which surprisingly was more polarizing than I had initially thought.
There were lots advocating for variety. I hear you.
Lots saying it’s uninspiring. Who hurt you?
A few people got it. I guess we could be friends.
And me? Well, me was saying, LONG LIVE THE CARBS.
My top 10 beige foods in no particular order are:
Mashed or Roasted Potatoes.
Gravy.
Bread. Any sort, type or variety but I really adore the end slice of a loaf, a crunchy, freshly baked baguette and buttery, garlic, hot naan.
Roast Chicken.
Cake. I’ll take it as it comes unless it’s coffee and walnut and then it can go in the bin.
Marmite.
Crisps.
Chips/wedges/fries/jacket plus all other potato varieties. Fondant. Oooh, I love a fondant potato.
Stuffing. Pref on the side of roast chicken, gravy and mashed potatoes.
Pie. The soggy pastry bit in particular. I know you know what I am talking about.
Crackers. With cheese sat on top dunked into a beige chutney of some sort.
So yeah, that’s 11 instead of 10 but this is my newsletter so who’s gonna argue with me? This all started because I was deciding on what pictures should kick off the newsletter. Ya know, you gotta find something enticing. Something that will tickle most pickles and something that will make you think – ‘Yup, that’s the one. That’s the one I want’. And truthfully, I struggled.
I am no food photographer, and after spending some time with a genius one earlier in the year, I realised that I will never be one. Me and my trusty iPhone will never be a patch on the professionals. But myself, Portrait Mode and some natural daylight WILL try.
As well as recipe developing, baking, filming, photographing (poorly), editing, writing, proof-reading (not well enough you could say, as too much of my ramble always slips through the net), I am also a daughter, a sister, a partner, a friend and (most importantly) a dog parent.
Someone on Instagram the other day asked me why it takes me so long to upload content and why my cake series is trotting along so slowly. And well…life, I guess? All the above plus the addition of weekly failed bakes means I am progressing in all areas of life at a snails pace.
Am I projected to finish the series by Christmas 2024? Yup. That is absolutely correct and I hope you stick around for it because shall we throw a huge cake party where you are all invited and we just eat a sh*t load of cake? Possibly? Definitely? Let me know cause I am seriously considering it.
Nachos!
Indian food!! (samosas, pakoras, veg curries, the works)
Omg, pasta. How did I forget?
Burgers.
My brain definitely just fixated on more additions and stopped any existing trail of thought but see! BEIGE. IS. BEAUTIFUL. Even if my lackluster photos don’t show it enough.
FRIED CHICKEN!!!!
COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is getting out of control. One last one, I swear.
Doughnuts.
Have I left anything out?
We are getting right into it this week. And when I say right into it, I mean I am going to yap on for a fair amount of time before we get to the bit that you’re actually here for. Am I sorry about that? Not one single bit. Why? Cause I am serving up some festive crackers for you this week.
If you missed last week’s newsletter:
A) What’s your deal?
B) Go have a look so you don’t miss a recipe and
C) Reread point A
Passive aggressiveness aside, I promised you all some additional recipes to get you through the festive period (and to get me more in the festive mood), so first up we have my Decorative Shortbread.
I KNOW. AREN’T THEY CUTE?! And the best bit about them is that they are super easy to make too. I think edible gifts at Christmas is such a lovely thing to do because not only does it get you out of a pickle of trying to decide what to get someone, but it also says ‘i love you’ in a way that some present that someone never asked for or wanted will ever do.
Now I feel like this is a safe space, right? We are all friends here?
So, with that being said, and after me guilting you enough to make sure you do not judge what I am about to say, then it’s time for me to say that biscuits just really aren’t my jam. Like, I like them. I enjoy making them. I think they are decent to eat. But they just aren’t my favourite things (unless we are talking about cookies – THEN we are in business). I think if we are gonna choose to spend some time making, baking and eating, I would rather go for something more extravagant. But that’s just me and I’m just a little extra. Which is why I decided to jazz up something that is super simple, into something that looks pretty impressive.
I first made these years ago and have been making them ever since. You can switch up the designs all year round, press in messaging on top, add different colours, mix up the flavours, sandwich the biscuits, layer the biscuits, dunk the biscuits but whatever you do, don’t stray too far from the base recipe as the taste, texture and finish is just melt in the mouth deliciousness.
Recipe Makes: A good amount of shortbread
Y O U – W I L L – N E E D –
225 g Unsalted Butter, room temp (can be switched out for vegan butter)
110 g Caster Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla Bean Paste
225 g Plain/AP Flour, sifted
100 g Cornflour, sifted
Zest of any citrus fruit
M E T H O D -
Cream together the softened butter and sugar together in a bowl.
Add in vanilla (or whatever flavouring you are going for) and mix together.
In a separate bowl, mix together both flours and zest. Doing this separately reduces the amount of mixing you have to do when it all comes together, meaning a shorter textured biscuit.
Add the flour mix into the bowl with the creamed butter and mix until JUST combined.
Place a sheet of baking paper onto your worktop and lightly flour. Press out 3/4 dough and roll out to approx. 2.5mm thick. TIP: placing another sheet of baking paper on top of the dough will ensure it doesn’t stick to your rolling pin and will reduce the need to over-flour. Leave to one side.
Colour the remaining dough with whatever colour you are going for (eg. Green for holly leaves, blue for snowflakes, red for love hearts) and roll out the dough again on another sheet of baking paper.
Use your biscuit cutter of choice to punch out your design and place onto a tray before popping it into the freezer for 30 minutes to allow the biscuits to freeze through.
Once the cut out biscuits are frozen, work quickly but gently (a mildly stupid contradiction, I know) to press in the frozen dough into the room temp dough you left aside earlier. Place a piece of baking paper on top and lightly roll over with a rolling pin to gently press in.
Remove the paper and place the tray into the fridge for 15 mins.
Use another cookie cutter to cut out desired shape and if using a letter press, dust with flour before pressing in.
Place your tray of final cut out biscuits in the freezer for an hour before baking at 165°C Fan/365°F/Gas Mark 4 for 13 to 14 mins, until they are lightly golden on the edges.
Leave the biscuits on the tray for 15 minutes before carefully transferring them to a rack to completely cool.
Next up on the menu, we have the latest bake from my ‘Around the World in 80 Cakes’ series – a Czechian Bublanina. This little number is made up of a simple sponge, topped with seasonal fruit and then finished off with a generous dusting of icing sugar once baked. And that is it. Nothing more, nothing less. Just that. It is simple, not fussy, delicious, and annoyingly moreish.
This is the perfect bake for any beginners or anyone after something low key and requires zero effort. It really is a little mixy mix, make, bake, eat and repeat. And that, my friends, is what we also know as winning.
This cake reminded me of the Danish Dreamcake but just a fruitier version. You can mix up the fruit all year round to whatever is seasonal (or sack that off entirely and just use tinned) and you have a bake that just keeps on giving.
I also added a drobenka (the czechian equivalent of a crumble) to the top of mine and whilst this isn’t common practice, I would hugely recommend you try. The crumble sinks into the batter in parts when baked and leaves the top of the sponge with this crackly, mildly crunchy and sweet top which just gives you enough ‘what the f*ck was that’ feel to keep you coming back for more.
A great bake to make this festive period, especially if you are after something a little low key or fancy occupying your kids/other half/parent/grandparent (delete as appropes) for an hour or so. I served up mine drizzled with some more fruity syrup and then drowning in custard (tinned or from scratch, there is no judgement here) but I could imagine eating it solo during the summer months when those berries are juicy, ripe and all things nice.
Recipe Makes: 1 x 8 by 12 inch / 20 by 30 cm Tin
Y O U – W I L L – N E E D -
Sponge
3 Large Eggs, whole
200 g Caster Sugar
200 g Plain/AP Flour, sifted
90 g Potato Starch, sifted
2 tsp Baking Powder, sifted
Pinch of Salt
240 ml Double/Heavy Cream
1 Lemon, zest only
1 tsp Vanilla Bean Paste
Fruit
250 g Amarena Cherries + 2.5 tbsp Syrup
OR
300 g Sour Cherries + 2.5 tbsp Syrup & 1 tsp Almond Extract
Drobenka/Crumble Topping
100 g Plain Flour
50 g Demerara Sugar
55 g Unsalted Butter, cubed
To Finish
Icing Sugar
Handful of Cherries/other mixed berries
Syrup from Cherry Jar/Tin
M E T H O D –
Preheat your oven to 170°C/340°F and grease and line a deep 8 by 12 inch / 20 by 30 cm cake tin with baking paper.
Into a mixing bowl, add the eggs and sugar and mix for 5 minutes on a high speed using the whisk attachment until you reach the ribbon stage (i.e. its doubled in volume, is aerated and the whisk leaves a trail of batter on the surface when removed).
Whilst this is mixing, make the drobenka by adding everything to a bowl. Combine everything together until the mix resembles breadcrumbs using your fingers or a food processor (if you opt for the latter, pulse the butter and flour together first and add the sugar last to keep the sugar crystals whole). Leave to one side.
In a separate bowl, add the flour, potato starch, baking powder and salt. Use a balloon whisk to mix well.
Once your eggs and sugar have reached the ribbon stage, turn the mixer down to the lowest speed before going in with ¼ of the flour mix, ¼ of the cream, the lemon zest and vanilla bean.
When there is little to no flour visible, go in with the next ¼ of flour and ¼ and repeat until everything has been added.
Transfer the batter to your lined cake tin and use the back of a spoon to level out.
Roughly chop ½ the cherries, keeping the other ½ whole. Spoon the fruit and syrup mix over the cake batter.
Sprinkle over the drobenka/crumble on top, evenly covering the top. Pop the tray into the oven and allow the cake to bake for 35 minutes.
Remove the cake from the oven and let it sit in the tin for 15 minutes before carefully removing and placing on a cooling rack.
Once the cake is lukewarm to the touch, generously dust the top with icing sugar.
Slice the cake with a serrated knife once cool. Serve with some additional berries on top, plus a drizzling of cherry syrup.
And then moving onto the main bake of the week, my spiced Apple Crumble Rolls. I love nothing more than a filthy, sugar laden cinnamon roll which leaves your fingers sticky from the spiced, sugary butter and the sides of your mouth coated with the cream cheese frosting BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. These Apple Crumble Rolls are basically that, but fruitier, crumblier and a lot more yummier than you would expect.
In one of my earlier newsletters, I brazenly declared apples as one of the worst fruits going. And I stand by that audacious statement. I mean, in the world of mangos, cherries, passionfruit and peaches, are we really trying to say that apples have it going on?? I feel an apple rant emerging so going to put a pin in that immediately, for your sake and mine. The only way I will eat them is if they are cooked in a tonne of butter and spices and then topped with a mountain of crumble.
So it’s essentially that, but just all wrapped up in a big, fat, cosy, squishy blanket that is an almond spiked dough. These are guaranteed to be some of the smushiest, tastiest rolls you’ve ever had. And if apples also don’t tickle your pickle, who said we gotta use them anyway?? You can skip the apple part and stick with the spiced butter and you still have yourself a solid bake. I like to dunk these rolls into a bowl of custard because I am feral like that but you can drizzle it over for a classier finish or you can keep it classic with a vanilla laden cream cheese frosting swirled on top.
I have a tonne of tips and tricks to make sure you nail this bake in the R U B E S – R E C O M M E N D S section, so make sure you check that out before you go diving head first into smushy goodness.
Recipe Makes: 12 Rolls
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