Guess who’s back baby…

FILTH IS BACK IN YOUR INBOXES. I'm back with a dose of droolicious goodness, including my No Churn Cherries & Berries Ice Cream, a 7 layered chocolate cake and my Cardamom, Sour Cherry & Coconut Cake.

FRIENDS! Hello!!

It feels like it has been absolutely forever since I’ve been active on the old newsy and I am soooo sorry for going AWOL once again, but I promise you (and I know I've said on a number of occasions recently) but I promise promise PROMISE you, that I am back and here to stay. Truth be told, I have had far too much on my plate of late and a classic Rubes move when things get too overwhelming is I go for a little one-way trip to De Nile.

Is it a good quality to have? No. Absolutely not. Do I take on way more than I can handle? Of course. Am I a total people pleaser who will continue to say yes to everything to the detriment of other things? Yup. Will I change? Unlikely.

That being said, the last few weeks were entirely book focused and saw me away from my kitchen (aka my real life heaven and hell), home comforts and laptop. I had every intention of keeping you all updated whilst I way away and honestly pictured myself sitting in some cutesy little coffee shop somewhere in NY, sipping a matcha iced latte (don’t even like matcha but in this internalized rom com episode, it matches the aesthetic), wearing a cool girl outfit, typing away on my mac (my laptop is actually 10 years old and is a HP brick covered in flour and old baking remnants), truly living my best Carrie Bradshaw life. A real ‘dear diary’ sort of vibe, where I pondered life, had profound thoughts and shared my most intimate secrets.

I KNOW this sounds stupid as hell but please tell my brain that. There is just something about NY which makes me feel a certain sort of way. I can’t remember if I shared this with you all before, but NY will forever have a piece of my heart. I have been more times than I can remember and even lived there for a few months between my 2 degrees, having never been before, didn’t know anyone there and had zero idea about just how expensive everything is there. It’s like you wake up, take your first breath and you have somehow already spent $23.98 plus TAX plus 20% tip. I don’t know what they put in the air over there (other than pollution, the lingering smell of weed or hot, musty rubbish) but despite that first trip working me to the bone (I worked 3 jobs in 1 day), I fell in love. I know I sound delulu but 90’s rom coms and Alicia Keys truly have a lot to answer for.

With my love for the city running deep, I couldn’t wait for my Mum to come out and join me on my book tour. I had no idea what she was going to think of NYC, but it seems like we have a new found fan. Everything (bar raising canes) was a 10 outta 10, she fell for the obligatory tourist purchase of an I heart NY t-shirt, bought a figurine of the Statue of Liberty (no idea why) AND bought not one, but TWO Brooklyn bridge snow globes. A SNOW GLOBE PEOPLE. Questionable purchases aside, I am honestly thrilled that I got to make those memories with her. It was the first time I have been away with my Mum to somewhere that isn’t India (there was no Disneyland when I grew up, it was just trips back to the village and farm in Punjab) so was incredibly heart warming to make new memories, take her around the city I love and see the literal joy and happiness radiate from her as she experienced something new.

She did give Times Square a 10 out of 10 though so, if you couldn’t tell, she is very easily pleased but being able to bring her along and show her a slice of my life, as opposed to just telling her about it, is gonna be one of those memories I’ll always cherish. SO YES, I have been missing for a long time over here but hopefully my cutesy little Mum and daughter quality time story means you can’t be too mad at me. Riiiiight??

P.S I have a TONNE of NYC food recommendations from both me and a whole load of you which I am going to share over the weekend on insta. It’s a great food guide (not Kells recommended though because everything would be 10) with everything from best burgers, bakeries, pizzas and pasta. A great save for anyone going there anytime soon!

Also, I know I haven’t spoken about Boston yet but honestly if I get into that bit too, we will be here all day and this is already turning into war and peace so next time, I promise!

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We have some tasty bites on the menu this week, offering up a little something for everyone. Whether you are after something easy going, a bit of a challenge, something low key or a showstopper, I have got you covered for this weekend.

• First up, we have the latest cake from my Around The World series. Incase you missed it, cake number 34 (it is DEFINITELY 34, despite me saying 33 in the VO – I was jetlagged when I recorded it) was a Sicilian Torta Setteveli, otherwise known as a 7 Veils Cake. This is actually a cake we made on Bake Off as a technical challenge on week 9 so had a good idea on how to put this together and how it should look before tackling it. I am not going to lie to you, this recipe is a MONSTER. 7 layers of chocolate and hazelnut is no easy feat – they gave us 3.5 hours on the show to bake and make the cake and yet at home it took me the best part of 3 days. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE PEOPLE.

this weeks menu

• Next, we have one of my faves and something I have been drowning myself in over the past week. When I say this is good, I am lying to you. Cause it is STUUUUPIDLY delicious. So easy to make, so easy to devour. My No Churn Berries and Cherries Ice Cream Sundae is going to become your new found fave. Whether you opt to ditch the sundae situ and just eat it from a bowl, in a cone or straight from the tub, you are going to become obsessed. The addition of the chocolate sponge in the recipe gives it this Black Forest Cake sorta vibe but just minus all the faff and you know I love a good low maintenance, max yum sorta recipe. Whether you use a store bought choccy sponge (I’m not here to judge) or opt to use one of my previous sponge recipes, I can’t wait for you to give this a go.

• Finally, finishing the menu this week is a relatively easy to make showstopper of a cake. It’s by no means as arduous as the 7 layered bonanza and it certainly isn’t as swift as our no churn friend from before but this Cardamom, Sour Cherry and Coconut Cake hits that middle ground sweet spot. We all know I am the CEO of the Cardamom Fan Club so it shouldn’t take you by surprise that this sponge is heavy on the spicing – I want you to be whalloped in the face with a good hunk of cardamommy warmth, which pairs so well with the tart sour cherry compote and velvety smooth, whipped coconut cream. Moist, delicate, full of flavour – if you like things a little hot and heavy, instead of meek and mild, this is the bake for you.

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Let’s get straight into the reason why you’re all reaaaally here (I don’t blame you cause food is food and I’d be the exact same) and get to the good stuff. After a little stint away, it felt so good to get back to normal cake programming and dive face first into cake number 34 with a bake I first made as technical challenge on Bake Off during week 9, Patisserie Week, a Sicilian Torta Setteveli.

she’s got that golden hour glow

I still remember that day SO clearly – earlier in the morning we had the signature challenge of madeleines which I semi bombed at because they looked hideous despite tasting delicious. This was one judging I couldn’t argue with them on because I very distinctly remember TRIMMING the madeleines with SCISSORS to try and make them prettier?? Please just read that sentence back because yes, I was that stupid and delusional to think all they needed was a little trim. I would also like to note that this was not the last time I would trim a bake because I took scissors to my doughnuts the week following too. WHAT WAS I ON?!

I am sat here typing away, eyes wide open as I relive that period of cringe inducing, illogical decision making. That being said, I smashed the technical somehow and came first – but I think that also only happened because this cake was truly a marathon. There were so many processes that it just became a challenge of whoever could make it to the end with their sanity vaguely intact. I literally remember eating half of the cake after judging and promised myself I would make it again sometime because it tasted HEAVENLY so I used the same recipe from the show to recreate it. Why change something that was so memorable…right??

It is made up of 7 layers of yum. It goes a little like:

1. Chocolate Genoise plus Hazelnut Soaking Syrup

2. Hazelnut Praline Crunch

3. Hazelnut Bavarois

4. Chocolate Genoise plus Hazelnut Soaking Syrup

5. Hazelnut Bavarois

6. Chocolate Mousse

7. Chocolate Mirror Glaze

8. Tempered Chocolate Decoration, optional

9. An Emotional & Physical Breakdown, not optional

It is exxxtra in every way and as someone who is very much a more, more, more sorta person when it comes to cake, this reads as my dream cake. Chocolate and hazelnut in this many forms really shouldn't be a miss...so this felt like a bit of an own goal. I SO wish I used my own recipe to make this cake because the idea is nothing short of perfection but the end product was a bit of a let-down. We also only had 3.5 hours to make this cake on the show, but it somehow took me 3 days in real life so please make that make sense? I spent a LOT of time making sure each stage was perfect, remade the sponges three times over as I knew they could be better and still…it just left me feeling a bit shortchanged after how much I had emotionally and physically given it (dramatics intended).

I am hoping that it’s just a case of taste preferences and my skills and ability have grown a tonne since the show, which is why I think it could now be better BUT if you decide you want to lose your sanity and will to live and make this cake, I would thoroughly recommend:

1. Not folding the flour through by hand for the sponge as the chances of you overmixing are high. Use the paddle attachment, mix for 2 to 3 rotations on the lowest speed. I tried both ways and the latter produced the better sponge.

2. Bake the sponges for no longer than 20 - 22 minutes. It says 20 - 30 on the website which is a huge time window, and I promise you, your sponges will be dry as toast if you edge anywhere near 30.

3. Be liberal with your soaking syrup. Increase the quants by 25%. Yes there are a lot of additions to the cake which should help with mouthfeel and texture but nothing and I mean NOTHING will mask a dry sponge if you don’t liberally add a soaking syrup or liquid to it.

4. Replace the hazelnut oil for hazelnut butter because when am I ever going to use that again? Someone did mention that hazelnut oil is a nice addition to a salad but honestly, this does not appeal to my greedy guts soul one single bit.

5. Reduce the amount of gelatine in both bavarois and glaze from 12 g to 8 g. Yes, you need it to set but no, you don't want to eat rubber.

6. Don't bother with the melted chocolate decorations, just scrape a bar of chocolate for an equally fancy finish, minus the mess, time and effort.

This is definitely a cake I am going to re-do at the end because I just KNOW this should taste incredible and if you fancy giving this a go, please please refer to my above notes to tweak.

Recipe Makes: 2 x 20 cm / 8 inch sponges

Recipe Serves: A LOT. This would be great as a special celebration cake.

Controversially, I am NOT going to give you a recipe card for the below because…I do not want any part of my name associated with this recipe. Savage? Yes. Warranted? Yes.

Y O U – W I L L – N E E D –

• Sponge

130 g Plain Flour, sifted

50 g Cocoa Powder, sifted

180 g Caster Sugar 

6 Large Eggs

30 g Unsalted Butter, melted

• Sugar Syrup

75 g Caster Sugar

1 tbsp Hazelnut Liqueur (e.g. Frangelico)

• Praline Paste

125 g Caster Sugar 

200 g Blanched Hazelnuts, toasted 

2 tbsp Hazelnut Oil 

• Hazelnut Bavarois

12 g Gelatine (about 7 leaves) 

200 ml Whole Milk 

200 ml Double/Heavy Cream 

5 Egg Yolks  

100 g Caster Sugar 

450 ml Double/Whipping Cream 

• Praline Layer: 

65 g 70% Dark Chocolate 

25 g Unsalted Butter 

40 g Feuilletine 

• Chocolate Mousse

400 ml Double/Whipping Cream 

150 g 70% Dark Chocolate, chopped 

• Chocolate Mirror Glaze

12 g Gelatine (about 7 leaves) 

80 ml Double/Heavy Cream 

40 g Cocoa Powder 

120 g Caster Sugar 

• To Decorate

Bar of Dark Chocolate

M E T H O D -

You can find right here - I was going to include this in the bulk of the newsletter but there are 21 steps alone in this recipe that I take NO CREDIT FOR. If you want to make it, remember to check my notes above!

Moving onto a sweet treat which sits on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of effort and skill required, with my No Churn Berries & Cherries Ice Cream Sundae. As a disclaimer, this is a recipe I developed as part of a brand campaign over on Instagram, which I was under no obligation to share here at all HOWEVS this recipe is great for those days when it is hotter than hell outside, but you still fancy a little something something when that sugar craving hits.

Look, I get it. I get that some of my recipes have a tendency to lean towards the more excessive side. Does everyone want a recipe for a three-sponge stacked bonanza? Probs not. Is everyone willing to spend hours nursing a multi-layered dessert over their very sacred days off? Highly doubtful. But are we all after that sweet, sweet nectar of goodness? A spoonful of a dessert which makes your eyes widen whilst you sit frozen for a few seconds in time before your inner goblin comes out ready to annihilate the entire plate? Absolutely. And that, my friends, is why you’re my sorta people.

This is one of the simplest and quite honestly, tastiest things I have made in a while. I LOVE making a no-churn ice cream because it tastes incredible (gelato-ey when you’ve left it to sit out for a little bit) and can take on a lot of flavour easily. The ROI on this is crazy high. 5 mins of effort goes a long, long way plus the below recipe is super adaptable so if you don’t want to use my additions and flavour profiles, I won’t take any offence. Just use the base and go to town on the rest. Here we are using up some leftover choccy sponge (I have shared many choc sponge recipes previously if you wanna opt to use one of those) OR you could just run to the shops and buy a ready made sponge (it’s a judgement free zone around here kids).

The velvety smooth base is rippled with a berry and cherry compote, which uses a cider to amp up the flavour BUT this is entirely optional. You can remove the additional liquid entirely and reduce the cornflour/starch to 0.5 tsp instead for the same yum, just minus the booze.

Recipe Serves : Depends on how you are serving this up but generally, you should get about 10 portions (buttttt also could serve one massive portion so?)

No Churn Berries & Cherries Ice Cream Sundae

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Y O U – W I L L – N E E D –

• Berry Compote

200 ml Berries & Cherries Old Mout Cider (remember this is OPTIONAL but a very tasty addition)

275 g Frozen Summer Berries

150 g Fresh Cherries, destoned and halved

25 g Caster Sugar

2 tsp Cornflour, sifted

• Ice Cream Base

1 x 397 g tin Condensed Milk

600 ml Double/Whipping Cream, fridge temp

30 g Golden Icing Sugar, sifted

1 tsp Vanilla Bean Paste

200 g Chocolate Sponge (homemade or storebought)

15 g Dark Chocolate, grated

M E T H O D -

1. Let’s start with making our compote. Into a pan, add the frozen summer berries, fresh cherries, caster sugar and cornflour.

2. Use a rubber spatula or wooden spoon to mix until everything is coated and the cornflour is no longer visible.

3. Pour in the cider (if using) and mix well until the liquid is smooth. Pop over a medium heat and bring the fruity mix to a boil.

4. Reduce the heat to a simmer and allow the Berries & Cherries to soften slightly. You want the fruit to loosely hold their shape with a syrupy sauce thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Leave to cool completely.

5. Once cooled make the ice cream base by adding the condensed milk, double/whipping cream, icing sugar, vanilla and grated chocolate into a mixer bowl.

6. Using the whisk attachment, mix until the ingredients reach medium peak. You want to make sure this is still lovely and smooth and only holds a medium peak (ya know the sort where the tip has a droopy head? Sounds weird, don’t make it weird…too late??).

7. Into your dish or Tupperware of choice, start spooning a third of your cream to the base. Use the back of a spoon or offset palette knife to roughly level out.

8. Add a good drizzling of the Berries & Cherries compote before using the tip of a knife or back of a spoon to lightly ripple through. Add a good scattering of chocolate sponge on top. Be generous with the nuggets of sponge, you want to make sure there is a little bit of that goodness in every scoopful.

9. On top of this, add 1/3 of the cream mix.

10. Repeat the above process with the compote and sponge before adding the final layer of cream.

11. Finish the top with a light drizzling of the compote (reserve the rest for serving), a bit of sponge and complete with a heavy grating of chocolate to cover.

12. Pop into the freezer for at least 6 hours/preferably overnight.

13. When it comes to eating, leave to sit at room temp for about 30 minutes for a soft serve.

14. If you are opting to make a sundae, grab your glass of choice. Add a scattering of choccy sponge to the base. Spoon over some reserve berry compote on top, before adding generous scoops of ice cream on top. Pour over more reserved syrup, a little bit of sponge and finish with a grating of chocolate before topping with some fresh cherries.

You’re gonna love it. They’re gonna love it. You’re gonna love me. The end.

a sexy mess

FINALLY, we get to the main bake of the day. I don’t know if many of you remember this but a while back I promised to share the recipe for the wedding cake I made for my cousin. I had great intentions ya know? My cousin would get a wedding cake made with enough love and care that she will now remain indebted to me for an eternity (these weren’t terms we spoke about per se but let’s just say there’s a knowing look between us both) and from that, I would get a killer cake recipe that I could then share with you guys. Sharing is caring after all and when it comes to cake, I want to ensure everyone gets a piece of the action.

Now here lies the problem. I went about that week before the wedding running around like a headless chicken. Not only was I the CCM (Chief Cake Maker) but I was also the MoH (Maid of Honour). Not only that, but that was also the week that James was working in Indonesia, so I was also a SDP (Single Dog Parent), all whilst trying to keep my shit and my sanity together. Everything was going swimmingly, despite all the former abbreviations. You could say that yhings were going too…swimmingly.

Everyone had yapped on at me about the stress of making a wedding cake, how it will send me over the edge and taking on that task would be too much for me. I was stressing over the thought of potential stress but there turned out to be none?? The sponges came out magnificently. I would go as far as saying that they were amongst some of the very best I have made.

They were light. They were tender. They held nicely whilst being super soft. They were incredibly moist without being claggy or mulchy and the flavour??? Ohhh boy the flavour was FLAVOURING. A whallop of cardamom (cause what else?), the sharpness of the raspberry jam, the sweetness from the soaking syrup and all enveloped in the velvetiest (I know this isn’t technically a word), creamiest, smoothest white chocolate swiss meringue buttercream. It was a delight.

And as always whenever I am recipe developing, I have my 10 year old laptop (I should upgrade it but honestly this thing is so robust that I have dropped it many a time and it somehow comes back fighting fitter and stronger than ever? Best £325 ever spent) propped open on my worktop, word doc ready to go and I multitask between weighing ingredients, typing up measurements and baking.

I do this every time without fail. Now please tell me why I cannot for the life of me find that recipe. That golden recipe which had the quants, ingredients, breakdown and timings for the most delightful sponge there ever was. WHY CAN I NOT FIND IT PEOPLE?! I have searched everywhere. No stone has been unturned believe me so turns out my cousin truly won in the end. Yeah yeah, I made the cake ‘cause I love her and she’s my best friend and she’s incredibly special to me blah blah BUT THE CAKE!!     

Anyway, long yap short, I have been trying time and time again to nail the same sponge. Every time, the quants are slightly off. The sponge isn’t pillowy soft enough. The texture isn’t moist enough. The flavour doesn’t make me cry tears of happiness. But this one?? Folks, this may not be the *exact* recipe I used for the sponge but it is damn close. Instead of the raspberries, I have teamed that heavenly and heavily spiced cardamom sponge with a sour cherry compote and a whipped coconut cream (WHICH has a condensed milk base which just takes it to God tier). It’s sweet, it’s tart, it’s filthy in all the right places and it’s basically what your life is missing right now.

If for some unknown, super odd, bizarre reason you don’t happen to love cardamom as much as I do, go easy on the pods and take the quants on that down by 50%. You’ll get the same sort of loveliness but just without the same sort of pow. A lingering loveliness, if you will.

But look at her. LOOK AT HER. A round of applause for my stupidity in forgetting to save that initial recipe ‘cause we would have never landed here folks. May that be a lesson to you all – turn your mistakes into your biggest wins. Unless your mistake was something truly, truly stupid then that’s on you, my friend.

Let’s make my Cardamom, Sour Cherry and Whipped Coconut Cake.

Recipe Makes: 2 x 20 cm / 8 inch sponges

Recipe Serves: 12