A Modern Day Love Story

It’s carbs, glorious carbs with my Pistachio & White Chocolate Knots with Raspberry Glaze, plus free *bonus* recipe for my ultimate Banana Bread. That’s right, it’s making a comeback.

Ya know that drowning I said I was doing last week, well I regret to inform you that the aforementioned tidal wave of stress is still very much consuming me as I wade through a mountain of cardboard boxes as I try to reassemble my life in this new, much larger than the old place, new place. I am currently Day 3 in the new abode and I am still tiptoeing my way around everywhere – apologizing to thin air every time I accidentally bump into anything, furiously cleaning away the minute I spot the faintest sign of dust and I am being oh so gentle with anything I touch.

I can’t wait for that moment to sink in. You know that moment I am talking about? That moment when a new place feels very much like home. That moment where I feel comfortable enough to leave something an inch out of place. The moment I don’t creep around like I am a guest in someone’s home and the moment that I spill something on the floor and I go from ‘holy sh*t’ to ‘sh*t happens’.

life, recently.

And with all the chaos that is currently consuming my life, it completely slipped my mind that this week is indeed…my birthday week. I KNOW. HOW ON EARTH DID RUBES FORGET TO BAKE HER OWN BIRTHDAY CAKE?! I am overcome with sadness that I haven’t planned some epically complex cake for my not-so-big day so I am going to commit to the idea of making one and sharing the recipe with you all next week.

I’m thinking a little salted caramel, maybe a slathering of chocolate, a bit of almond – all the usual suspects in something I will go feral for. And the design? JUST YOU WAIT (well we will all wait, because I don’t know what it will be yet). Perhaps we go for a little painted cake number and give you a brief masterclass on how the fudge I actually do it.

a glorious gluten gallery

But for now, It’s ALL about gluten in Bite #5 today.  It’s somehow found itself in the unkind territory of being the modern day archnemesis but not for me my friends. Not now. Not then. Not ever. Whichever way it comes in, I am here for it. Whether it’s the buttery sort. The savoury sort. The sweet, dry, chewy, stale sort. Long, short, thin or fat. I shall never discriminate against my carby friends – they have always been there for me when needed and I shall always be there for them.

What’s the root of my unwavering loyalty to all thing’s gluten? I cannot even begin to tell you how much bread baking saved my sanity during my stint of unemployment.

I truly believe in baking therapy, but particularly bread therapy. When you’re making it (the touch), when you are baking it (the smell), when you are eating it (pure unadulterated joy) and when you share it (smug sense of pride). Baking bread gives cakes a good running for me and I toy between the two as to which I prefer but then I remember…why choose??

Bread was there for me, dragging me out of the deep, dark depths of my brain. When I started baking, I didn’t have any fancy equipment until after Bake Off was filmed. The only equipment I had was an electric hand whisk and well, my hands. Everything I made back then was truly a labour of love. Every loaf was kneaded by hand. I know this sounds quite airy fairy but I truly believe that making and eating directly with your hands gives you a greater connection to food. A greater appreciation. A greater understanding.

And talking of fancy equipment – *drum roll please* – we have our FIRST GIVEAWAY! To celebrate hitting over 10 k subscribers (actually now at 11, sorry what?!) in just under a month, I thought it was time to giveaway one of my most prized possessions…that’s right, I am giving away A KITCHENAID. Wherever you are based in the world, I WILL get it to you. This is only open to paid subs (fyi - this isn’t an ad or affiliated with any company, I just a way to say thanks, ya know?) and there’s nothing more you need to do to enter. I’ll announce the winner next week and will hit you up for your details to get it over to you.

pov: you just won a kitchenaid

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On the menu this week, we have my Cardamom, Pistachio & White Chocolate Knots with Raspberry Glaze for my Paid Besties and for everyone else, because it’s birthday week, I’m dishing the dirt on my go-to Banana Bread. Don’t worry, breathe away that fear, you’ve not found yourself lost in time in 2019 amongst the barrage of banana bread on your insta feed but I thought 4 years is a good enough amount of time for the hatred (and mild ptsd) over something so innocent to dissipate to the point where we may actually miss it?

My version is deliciously moist, incredibly yummy and essentially idiot-proof, so it’s perfect for you (joking, reeeelax). I made a few of these loaves (or is it cakes?) this week as a little gift for the neighbours to introduce myself as the sassy yet sweet baker next door who spends her days baking away as she dreams about being brave enough to open a bakery (hello internal rom com dialogue). A wholesome moment for the Rubes but also a welcomed dose of happiness as I cooked my way through the chaos.

Makes: 1 x 2lb Loaf tin

Prep Time: 15 Minutes

Bake Time: 60 Minutes

Cooling Time: 1 hour

Basic But Brilliant Banana Bread

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W H A T – Y O U – N E E D –

• Cake Batter

250 g Self Raising Flour OR 250 g Plain/AP plus 3 tsp Baking Powder, sifted

75 g Ground Almonds

1 tsp Ground Cinnamon

1 tsp Vanilla Bean Paste or Extract

Pinch of Salt

120 g Unsalted Butter, room temp

40 ml Neutral Oil (eg. Vegetable Oil)

150 g Light Brown Sugar

2 Large Eggs, room temp (stop keeping eggs in the fridge!)

110 g Plain Yoghurt

4 Large Ripe Bananas, mashed

75 g Hazelnuts or Pecans, chopped (or whatever is available)

100 g Milk Chocolate, chunks or chips

1 Large Ripe Banana, sliced in half lengthways

10 g Light Brown Sugar, to caramelize

M E T H O D -

1. Preheat oven to 160C Fan / 320F Fan and grease and overline 1 x 2 lb loaf tin. Lower the oven rack to no higher than the middle to ensure the loaf doesn’t brown too quickly when baking.

2. In a bowl, add the flour, ground almonds, cinnamon and salt and give it all a good mix to combine.

3. Using either a stand mixer with a paddle attachment fitted or a electric hand held whisk, cream together the butter, oil and sugar on a medium to high speed for at least 5 minutes.

4. Add the eggs, mixing well between each addition (give these a minute or two at a time).

5. Next you want to go in with the vanilla bean, yoghurt, and bananas. Mix again to combine.

6. Add the flour mix to the bowl in three parts, running the mixer on a low speed to gently incorporate.

7. Once there are a few flour streaks remaining, add in the nuts (if using) and milk chocolate chunks and fold through to avoid overworking.

8. Transfer the batter to the lined loaf tin and use the back of a spoon to evenly spread. Nestle the large sliced banana to the top of the batter and sprinkle over the remaining sugar on top to gently caramelize.

9. Pop in the oven and bake for 58 to 60 minutes. Halfway through, place some foil on top to cover to prevent further browning. Depending on your oven, you may need a touch more time but check if the bread is done by inserting a toothpick to ensure no batter returns.

10. Remove the tin from the oven and allow the loaf to sit in the pan for 15 minutes, before covering the top with some clingfilm/saran wrap.

11. Allow to cool completely before turning out and slicing.

shine, sheen and shimmering in deliciousness

Then we go onto the main event where I was desperate to eat something that a) wasn’t delivered on a moped b) wasn’t a packet of crisp and c) tasted like…love. When I say these are fantastic, I am completely and utterly lying to you. Because they are indeed, fucking wonderful. When I have a bakery (hi manifesting!), I would make quadruple the portions, eat half personally and sell the rest. The pillowy soft cardamom bun wraps around a white chocolate, vanilla bean and pistachio butter and then the knots are bathed (or dunked) in a raspberry glaze.

And yes, that glaze is every bit as deliciously scrummy as you think it is. I mean, look how shiny it is!!

It is a moment, and the moment is all hers. The buns are nothing short of beautiful and are the perfect baking project for this weekend. This is how you make my Cardamom, Pistachio & White Chocolate Knots with Raspberry Glaze.

Makes: 16 Knots