A Choux-In

Serving up straights wins this week with my Rhubarb & Cardamom Custard Karpatka (think jumbo éclair cake) and Double Chocolate & Dulce de Leche Banana Bread.

Hey Friends!

I hope you have all had a marvellous week so far? Mine has consisted of an ungodly amount of baking (I am talking an average of 5 different cakes per day), an eyewatering amount of cake failures (please see below for evidence) and an obscene amount of steps done daily (30k every damn day IN THE KITCHEN ALONE).

My arteries are drowning in sugar, my body now resembles blancmange and damn, ya girl is tired but folks, we move. I have a big deadline due in the middle of May and whilst I am not someone who wishes time away, holy moly May 19^th cannot come soon enough. That first day of waking up without raging anxiety coursing through my body and having to fight through intense baking fatigue is *hopefully* (and we say hopefully because if not, what the actual eff?!) going to taste like the sweetest cake around.

Because of the aforementioned cake induced stress, my weeks of late have been looking particularly bland. My highlights include:

• The wisteria is growing spectacularly well. It’s now flowering in 3* parts and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I can take absolutely zero credit for it blooming but I do believe me emptying my water cup onto its surrounding soil every so often is truly the ticket to its success. *edit: make that one part flowering - the other two have died in the space of me writing this newsletter.

• The local allotment had a surplus of rhubarb and had left out a bunch for people to take for free. And guess who bloody loves rhubarb folks? Ya girl Rhuby.

• I successfully trimmed Milo’s hair with James’s beard clipper. Granted, this does not sound like a highlight but folks please refer to the gallery below where the last time I tried to undertake a home groom on Milo, he came out looking like a plucked chicken. Shoutout covid era where aesthetics were out and trying to survive was oh so in. Whilst the village is fantastic, it is overrun with dogs so trying to get a grooming appointment is like winning the lottery. So whilst we await his next appointment in anticipation, I am moonlighting as a dog groomer (please note, I am not accepting bookings for the wellbeing of everyone).

milo's first groom by me was nothing short of a crime against humanity

• Evening runs. Admittedly I have only done this a handful of times and every time a fly has either gone into my eyeball (only to be finally found THE NEXT DAY WHEN I WOKE UP) or been swallowed. I enjoy it but you can probably tell why I am apprehensive to continue considering the trauma endured on the recent trips.

• F1 racing & padel. Okay so both of these sound incredibly fun (which they undoubtedly were) but they were also done weeks ago and I totally forgot to fill you in. At the start of the year I vowed to get a life – in whatever shape or means necessary. Just do a little something for myself that took me out of the kitchen, into a new environment and experience something foreign.

  With that in mind, so far I have been fortunate to have a training session with GB Padel player Nikhil Mohindra (James somehow knows him and he unwittingly agreed to giving me a taster session). It went…okay? My hand eye coordination isn’t too bad (I have icing cakes to thank for that) but do struggle with wanting to hit every ball with as much power as possible (why? What am I trying to prove??). Did most of the balls end up in someone else’s court? Sure, but God loves a trier.

  Then a few weeks back, I finally went to Silverstone for a single seater karting experience. As someone who LOVES to drive (fast) cars, that experience was utterly PETRIFYING. I haven’t driven a manual car in about 6 years so suddenly being asked to drive this go kart alongside 12 other people (all men, no women) was terrifying. The guy who gave us the briefing waxed lyrical about the number of crashes they have every week and just as we were getting going, an ambulance arrived. So, that was fun.

And that folks, is the round up of my last few weeks. But to keep it well balanced here as a traditional Libra, I dropped a fresh jar of my beloved potato starch, which decorated the entirety of my snack cupboard. If this God’s way of telling me no more snacks, then try harder my friend. Yes I was at rock bottom but you can bet your ass that I sat on the floor and ate a potato starch covered packet of frazzles to decompress.

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We are keeping it light but loaded in the weeks leading up to my deadline. After that, it will be back to an onslaught of recipes for everyone. But for now, we have:

• Double Chocolate & Dulce de Leche Banana Bread. Some of you may remember this bake and it is one I have previously shared BUT I finally got round to reworking, tweaking and somehow bettering a bake that was already close to magic. Whilst the original version was good – this is moister, more tender, more cinnamony and better balanced. Forget what you think you know about banana bread, because THIS is truly the only way you should be enjoying it. Here we have a marbled cinnamon and chocolate sponge, nuggets of dulce de leche and finished with a silky smooth chocolate glaze. This is banana bread. But this is also filthy.

• Rhubarb & Cardamom Custard Karpatka. Whilst forced rhubarb season is officially on its way out in the UK, field grown rhubarb is in. It’s now also gracing stores and shops across the US so thought what better way to finish up my trio of rhubarb treats with my take on a Polish Karpatka. Think of this as a giant éclair, filled with a custard cream and finished with a dusting of icing sugar. My version sees a crisp, crunchy shell, encasing a cardamom spiced crème diplomat and topped with a rhubarb and strawberry compote to help cut through the sweetness. It’s a delightfully light bake, which will leave you mildly feral for more.

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I know it isn’t common practice to toot ones own horn but oh lordy, I am tooting. I am rootily tootily tooting it because this Double Chocolate & Dulce de Leche Banana Bread will hands down beat any other you have tried. All I need to mention is dulce de leche and you should just KNOW the power this recipe holds. It is like a comforting, warming, hug in a slice. It has the joy of Christmas morning, the warmth of a sunny spring afternoon, the smell which makes your eyes widen, the texture which leaves you insatiable and the appeal of a walking red flag. You know the type that will inevitably ghost you but whilst they are there, life feels f*cking fantastic. How I am romanticizing banana bread to this extent I’ll never know but here we are.

We have gone for a marbled number with this loaf for hits of choccy but you can double up the quants of the cocoa for an all over choc loaded bonanza. Chocolate, Dulce de Leche and a hefty amount of Cinnamon are the baking holy trinity you didn’t know your life was currently missing – the depth of yum you get from each addition leaves you with the most moreish bite.

Here we introduce a touch of cardamom (shock, where doesn’t she introduce this, am I right?) which makes for a wonderful pairing with the cinnamon – adding a welcomed level of depth and surprise. If by some chance you don’t like cardamom (I don’t know why you’f subscribe if that is the case because my blood BLEEDS CARDAMOM), you can leave it out. I would highly suggest you leave it in because it takes the bake from lovely to mind blowingly good in a blink of an eye but ya know, you do you.

A little advance warning - this is a long bake because there is an insane level of moisture in the batter: from the bananas, from the oil, from the added buttermilk, eggs, butter and dulce de leche. Give it time and let it bake – even if it goes beyond the suggested timings and the middle is still jigglypuff. Trust in it. But I’m going to level with you, I always underbake mine on purpose because nothing beats a slice of barely baked, barely holding itself together, banana bread. The goo! The mush! The yum! Outrageous on all accounts.

Alternatively, you can skip making this in a loaf and bake it in two x 18 cm/7-inch tins for a stacked banana bread cake. My filling of choice would be plain and simple vanilla or go full out with a brown butter whipped cream cheese. If we are doing it, we are DOING it, okay?

IF you don’t fancy making the dulce de leche from scratch, you can opt for store bought (if you are lucky enough to locate it) OR ditch it for tinned caramel instead. The flavour won’t be as rich or as intense but I promise, will still great. Alternatively, you could go for a pistachio cream filling, peanut butter (chunky, obviously) or even hazelnut butter (this matched with the chocolate batter? Holy moly).

Another nice tweak to the below, to really give the batter a bit of welly, a whole lot of attitude and a lot more moisture is subbing 75g of plain flour for ground almonds instead. Here we have kept it plain and simple for anyone with nut allergies but if you have free reign, I would highly recommend giving that tweak a go – the difference in the end result is worth it.

I am using our All Things Butter Cinnamon Bun in this recipe but if this isn’t available to purchase wherever you are, substitute the butter for equal quantity of Unsalted PLUS ¼ additional tsp Cinnamon PLUS 1/8 tsp Salt.

Recipe Makes: 1 x 2lb deep loaf tin (if you have a regular 2.5 inch deep tin, use ¾ of the batter and the remaining for muffins/cupcakes)

Recipe Serves: 8 to 10 slices

Double Chocolate & Dulce De Leche Banana Bread

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Y O U – W I L L – N E E D –

• Dulce de Leche

397 g tin Condensed Milk

• Batter

320 g Plain Flour, sifted

0.5 tbsp Ground Cinnamon

1 Cardamom Pod, ground

2.5 tsp Baking Powder, sifted

¼ tsp Bicarbonate of Soda

¼ tsp Salt

115 g All Things Butter Cinnamon Bun, room temp

80 ml Neutral Oil

160 g Light Brown Muscovado Sugar

2 Large Eggs, room temp

125 g Soured Cream, room temp

300 g Bananas, ripe

200 g Dark Chocolate, chopped

35 g Cocoa Powder, sifted

65 ml Buttermilk (to loosen cocoa batter)

250 g Dulce de Leche

• Chocolate Glaze

110 g Dulce de Leche

80 ml Maple Syrup

80 ml Whole Milk

180 g Dark Chocolate

¼ tsp Salt

M E T H O D –

1. To make your dulce de leche, add your tin of condensed milk to a saucepan filled with water. Ensure the tin is fully submerged before covering with the lid and placing over a medium heat. Bring to a boil before reducing the heat to a simmer.

2. Allow the tin to boil for 2.5 hours but make sure the tin is fully submerged at all times – top up the water when needed.

3. Once done, allow the tin to sit in the water to cool. Once the water has cooled, drain and allow the tin to come to room temperature. When cool enough to touch, transfer contents to a bowl, cover and leave to one side.

4. For the loaf, preheat oven to 150C Fan/170C/340F/Gas Mark 3 and grease and overline 1 x 2 lb loaf tin. Lower the oven rack to no higher than the middle to ensure the loaf doesn’t brown too quickly when baking.

5. In a mixer bowl, add the flour, cinnamon, ground cardamom, baking powder, bicarb and salt and give it all a good mix to combine.

6. Cream together the butter, oil and sugar on a medium to high speed for at least 5 minutes, using a paddle attachment.

7. Add the eggs, mixing well between each addition (give these a minute or two at a time).

8. Next you want to go in with the vanilla bean, soured cream, and bananas. Mix again to combine.

9. Add the flour mix and chopped chocolate to the bowl in three parts, running the mixer on a low speed to gently incorporate.

10. Once there are a few flour streaks remaining, transfer half of the batter to another bowl and sprinkle in the cocoa powder and buttermilk. Use a rubber palette knife to fold through until well combined.

11. Add your dulce de leche to a piping bag.

12. Use 2 ice cream scoops or spoons to add spoonfuls of batter to the tin, alternating each time between the chocolate batter and the vanilla (this will help to give a marbled effect when sliced). Every so often, pipe dollop of the dulce de leche onto the batter – interspersing all that delicious goodness throughout the whole loaf. Be generous with it, we want pools of the dulce de leche running through each slice. Once a layer of batter and dulce has been added, use a skewer or tip of a knife to ripple before adding the next layer.

13. Once all the batter has been added, use up any remaining dulce de leche on top, ripple through and then sprinkle over the demerara sugar on top to cover.

14. Pop in the oven and bake for 70 to 75 minutes (yes it’s a long bake but there is so much moisture in the cake, it NEEDS time but ALSO if your cake sinks in the middle, don’t stress. I prefer the underbaked side of this cake so will always go for less time). Halfway through, place some foil on top to cover to prevent further browning. Depending on your oven, you may need a touch more time but check if the bread is done by inserting a toothpick. Here you want a few crumbs and a small amount of batter to return – if the top is very jiggly, place back into the oven until the top bounces back when gently pressed.

15. Remove the tin from the oven and allow the loaf to sit in the pan for 10 minutes, before covering the top with some clingfilm/saran wrap.

16. Allow it to cool completely before turning out onto a cooling rack.

17. Once cooled, make the glaze by adding all the ingredients to a pan and placing over a low to medium heat. Gently melt the chocolate and combine the ingredients until the sauce has lightly thickened.

18. Allow the glaze to cool slightly before placing a baking tray under your cooling rack. Position your loaf upside down (it will help with glazing and allow it to run off the sides).

19. Pour the glaze over the baked bread and use a palette knife to help cover the sides. Once covered, leave to set.

20. Use a serrated knife to slice. Best eaten on the day its made but keeps well for a day or two if wrapped well in clingfilm/saran wrap or placed into an airtight container.

Moving onto the main bake of the day, my Rhubarb & Cardamom Custard Karpatka. I have been itching to make a karpatka for so long but have resisted the urge as I know this features on my ‘Around the World’ list but honestly, I have been waiting 2 years for me to get my ass into gear and work my way through the list and even I, have grown inpatient with my progress.

So, I said screw the list. Waiting is for losers. We want a karpatka? Let’s go make a damn karpatka. And that folks, leads us to here.

A Karpatka is a popular Polish bake, which was originally created as a ode to the Carpathian mountains. Think of this as giant profiterole. The rugged choux pastry top is heavily dusted in icing sugar to resemble the mountain tops and filled with a custard based buttercream. The crisp pastry shell teamed with the velvety smooth middle is a match made in sweet, sweet heaven.

If you love profiteroles or eclairs, this is the one for you. Arguably easier to make, bake and construct than the former two, a karpatka doesn’t require a tonne of skill to whip together and assemble. We eliminate the worry of whether the choux rises during baking (I GUARANTEE you, if you follow the recipe below, it WILL give you that rise – bold claim but I stand by it), we forget about overfilling the choux and splitting it and we needn’t worry about any of it going soggy.

After stumbling across the free rhubarb in the village the other day, I grabbed a few stalks and wanted to put the beautiful home grown produce to good use. Pairing the tart tangy rhubarb with the sweet, seasonal strawberries and a hint of stem ginger for a bit of warmth and zing – this truly is one of my most favourite compotes to ever make. Use it to run through no churn ice creams, add a good spoonful on top of plain yoghurt and granola, include it as a cake layer, ripple it through a cheesecake – however it is put to use, I promise you – you will love it. Not too sweet, not too tart. It just hits that right amount of all the good stuff that makes even the most sceptical rhubarb critics waver in their stance.

We are teaming that with a cardamom and vanilla spiced crème mousseline for a beautifully balanced filling. Whilst some mousselines will see the introduction of gelatine to help it set and stabilise, here we opt for a sturdier, well set custard to prevent the need of using an animal by-product (I’m not a fan of gelatine for inclusive dietary reasons unless it is a huge necessity). Sandwiched between a crisp, crunchy, peaked pastry shell – this is the perfect summer dessert. Versatile, easy to make, can be made in less than half a day and doesn’t require you to be slaving away over a stove for hours on end.

She’s relatively fuss free whilst appearing dramatic and high maintenance. Much like me.

Is this one of my favourite things I have baked so far this year? Yes. And that speaks volumes, considering my whole life is currently cake on repeat.

Make it. And make it now.

Recipe Makes: 2 x 23 cm / 9 inch springform/loose bottomed tins

Recipe Serves: 8 to 12